Just Got Engaged? 9 of the First Steps To Planning a Wedding You Will Love

Just today, I met a sweet young woman at my dentist’s office. She had just gotten engaged and was absolutely glowing, but vented to me about how she feels paralyzed when she starts to plan out her wedding next year. She told me she felt overwhelmed by all the decisions she suddenly had to make and didn’t know where to start first. “Who do we book first? How soon do we need to plan things?”

Her questions are the same ones thousands of newly engaged couples wonder about every year when they get engaged— and if you’re reading this, maybe you’re feeling that way too. So let’s start here.

Take a deep breath. 
You don’t have to plan your entire wedding today.
And you’re not behind.

Let’s walk through the first steps you should take after getting engaged — in a calm, clear, supportive order — so the process feels effortless and easy.

1. Celebrate Your Engagement (Yes, Really!)

Before you jump into planning mode, take time to enjoy being engaged. Whether you celebrate with a dinner date, a cozy night in, or a small gathering with loved ones, give yourselves space to slow down and soak it all in.

This is a once-in-a-lifetime moment — don’t rush past it.

2. Talk About Your Vision & Priorities Together

Before booking anything, sit down together and talk about:

• What type of wedding you imagine

• Your ideal season or time of year

• Approximate guest count

• Indoor or outdoor

• Local wedding or destination

• Your “must-haves” vs. “nice-to-haves”

This helps you stay aligned as you make bigger decisions later. Many couples skip this step and immediately feel scattered — this conversation brings clarity and reduces stress.

3. Decide on a Budget (Before Booking Anything)

This is the hardest part of wedding planning, but don’t be afraid of it. Your budget determines everything like:

• Venue options

• Guest count (here is a guide on how to pick your guest number)

• Photography and videography investments

• Catering

• Décor & Rentals

• Extras like florals or live music

Talk honestly about what you’re comfortable spending and if any family members are contributing. The sooner you do this, the smoother the rest of planning becomes.

4. Choose a Date or Narrow It Down to a Season

This is one of the most important choices you’ll make and can feel a bit overwhelming. You don’t need an exact date just yet — even choosing a season helps. If you have a season to work around, then you can find a date when looking for your dream wedding venue.

For example:

• Utah summer and autumn weddings book quickly because of mountain venues

• Seattle weddings often peak between June–September for the best weather in the Pacific Northwest

• Popular fall weekends disappear fast in both states because the colors are spectacular and the prices can be a little cheaper do to it being “off season.”

5. Create a Shortlist of Venues

Your wedding venue determines your wedding date, overall wedding style, and often your vendor choices. My suggestion is to start searching early — some venues book 12–24 months out.

If you’re looking in Utah or Seattle, here are a few popular starting points:

• Utah wedding venues: La Caille, River Bottoms Ranch, Snowbird, Sundance, Walker Farms

• Seattle wedding venues: Lairmont Manor, Woodinville wineries, The Rainier Club, The Admiral’s House

Once you book your venue, everything else can fall into place.

6. Book Your Wedding Photographer Early (Really Early!)

Photographers often book as far as 12–24 months in advance — especially during peak wedding seasons (depends on your area, but for me it’s usually June-September). If photography is important to you (and for most couples, it is), reach out early to secure your date.

As awedding photographer with 17 years of experience, I help couples:

• Create a smooth, stress-free photography plan

• Build a timeline

• Plan engagement sessions

• Feel confident and comfortable in front of the camera

Booking your photographer early gives you access to guidance, support, and planning help long before the wedding day. Check out this blog post about how to choose your wedding photographer.

7. Plan Your Engagement Session

This is one of my favorite parts of wedding planning because it helps you:

• Get comfortable in front of the camera

• Build trust with your photographer

• Celebrate your engagement in a meaningful way

• Have beautiful photos for save-the-dates or your wedding website

For Utah engagements, places like the Salt Flats, Big Cottonwood Canyon, and Tibble Fork are stunning. For a Seattle engagement session, Discovery Park, Artist Point, and waterfront locations are timeless favorites. Here is a helpful guide on how to pick your engagement session location based on seasons in your area.

8. Start Booking Your Core Vendors

Once you have a venue and photographer, you can move on to:

• Wedding planner or coordinator

• Florist

• Hair & makeup team

• Caterer

• DJ or band

• Videographer

• Rentals (tables, linens, décor)

These vendors shape your wedding day experience — booking them early saves stress later. If you need a list of local vendors, I have a list of tried and true wedding vendors that I have loved working with over the years.

9. Don’t Be Afraid to Ask Questions or Get Help

If you feel stuck or unsure, reach out to an experienced vendor you trust. Most of us in the wedding industry genuinely love helping couples navigate these early stages.

Planning a wedding is a big experience — but you don’t have to do it alone. This is why I suggest hiring a planner or month of coordinator to help. They know the exact things to ask other vendors, the best vendors to choose from and anything else you may not have thought of for your wedding.

What Does an Average Wedding Cost on the West Coast?

Weddings on the West Coast tend to fall into a mid-to-luxury price range, even when you’re not planning something overly extravagant. Between the scenery, high demand, and overall cost of living in places like California, Washington, and Oregon, pricing naturally trends higher than many other parts of the country.

For a typical wedding with around 100–150 guests, most couples spend somewhere between:

• $50,000 to $120,000+ total

That range reflects what many would consider a “standard” wedding in these markets—not ultra-luxury, but still thoughtfully designed, professionally executed, and guest-focused.

Why Costs Tend to Be Higher These Days

A few things drive pricing on the West Coast:

• Venue demand and location — coastal venues, vineyards, and scenic properties often come with premium pricing
• Catering and labor costs — food and service staff are typically higher in these regions
• Vendor experience level — many West Coast vendors operate at a high level with pricing that reflects their expertise
• Design expectations — couples often prioritize aesthetics, which increases floral, rental, and décor budgets

Where Most of the Budget Goes

Even at an average level, the bulk of your investment usually goes toward:

• Venue + catering (often the largest portion)
• Photography and videography
• Floral and design elements
• Rentals and guest experience details

Because of the setting, many couples also invest more into making the experience feel cohesive and elevated from start to finish.

A Realistic Perspective

An “average” West Coast wedding isn’t about keeping things minimal—it’s about creating something that feels intentional, beautiful, and well-executed without going into full luxury production territory.

You’re paying for:

• Access to incredible locations
• A higher standard of vendors and service
• A wedding that feels both experiential and visually refined

Want Something More Affordable for Your Wedding? Consider a Micro Wedding or Elopement

If a full traditional wedding feels like more than you want to take on financially, you’re definitely not alone. A lot of couples are intentionally choosing micro weddings or elopements instead—not just because they’re more affordable, but because they often feel more personal, relaxed, and meaningful. Couples also decide to skip a full, traditional wedding because they don’t want a large guest count and everything that comes with it.

Instead of scaling down your wedding, you’re really just refining it—focusing on what matters most and letting go of everything that doesn’t.

Micro Wedding vs. Elopement: What’s the Difference?

• Micro Wedding: Usually 10–50 guests, still includes many traditional elements (ceremony, dinner, florals, photography), just on a smaller scale
• Elopement: Typically just the couple or up to ~10 guests, more experience-focused and often simpler in structure

Both options allow you to create something beautiful without the full financial weight of a large wedding.

Average Cost Breakdown for Elopement and Micro Weddings

Here’s a realistic look at what most couples spend:

Elopement (0–10 guests)

• $3,000 – $15,000+ total

Typical costs include:

• Photography: $3,000–$8,000+
• Permit/location fees: $100–$1,000
• Officiant: $200–$600
• Florals: $200–$1,000
• Travel & lodging: varies

Optional add-ons:

• Private dinner or picnic
• Hair & makeup
• Small styling details

Elopements are perfect if you want something intimate, flexible, and experience-driven.

Micro Wedding (10–50 guests)

• $8,000 – $25,000+ total

Typical costs include:

• Venue: $1,000–$8,000+
• Catering: $50–$150+ per person
• Photography: $3,000–$7,000+
• Florals: $500–$5,000+
• Rentals & décor: $500–$3,000+

Optional upgrades:

• Live music or DJ
• Elevated design and tablescapes
• Planner or coordinator

Micro weddings are ideal if you still want a shared celebration with your closest people, but without the scale of a large event.

Why Couples Are Choosing These Options

What’s interesting is that many couples aren’t choosing micro weddings or elopements just to save money—they’re choosing them because they want:

• More time with each guest
• A more relaxed, less rushed timeline
• The ability to invest in what matters most (like photography, food, or location)
• A day that feels intentional instead of overwhelming

A Simple Way to Think About It

• Elopement: Just the two of you (or a few people), focused on the experience
• Micro wedding: A small, curated version of a traditional wedding

Both options allow you to stay in a more manageable budget range while still creating something that feels elevated, emotional, and completely your own.

And honestly—some of the most meaningful weddings I’ve seen have been the smallest ones.

If you’ve just gotten engaged, you’re entering one of the most exciting times of your life. It’s normal to feel overwhelmed at first, but with a few clear steps and the right support, the process becomes joyful, meaningful, and even fun.

If you’re planning a wedding and you want a wedding photographer who’s calm, experienced, organized, and supportive every step of the way, I’d love to help you feel confident as you begin this journey.

Reach out anytime— even if you’re not ready to book yet.
I’m always happy to guide couples through the first steps.